The Journey Home

So why the trip home?
In early August, Marc & I were in Nashua, New Hampshire which is approximately 2,970 miles away from Moreno Valley. We were talking about family camp coming up (a yearly event where a bunch of families from our church get together & go camping) and were really sad that we were going to miss it. So I asked him if we could go and he humored me. Marc doesn't usually humor me with things like that because I tend to take them seriously, but this time he did. "Sure, let's go", he said, so I began to look up driving routes & calculate gas mileage and how much it would cost. Of course, Marc wasn't going to humor me forever. He shut me down pretty quickly after that, but instead of accepting defeat, I pulled a card that a Christian can't really deny. "Why don't we pray about it?" :) Of course, I didn't really expect that it would happen, but what's the harm in praying? We had to be sure that it was ok with the Lord, but how would we know without a doubt? So we threw down the fleece. We agreed that if God gave us $500 from one person in the next 7 days, we would know that it was ok to go. It was such a huge amount that, at that point nobody had ever given us, that we knew if it happened it would be God's allowance.
And it did! On the 7th day (Marc says the 6th), we received $500 from a very unlikely source! We couldn't believe it! We even called Pastor Sammy, told him the news, and asked his opinion. Well, exactly what we prayed for happened....why not? Sweet!!! So we bought our plane tickets (2 round trip tickets for a total of $520) from Boston to LAX and 3 weeks later, a flight back.
When we got back, we spent the first day surprising everybody! It was wonderful! Afterwards we went to IHOP with half of the people we know! Not really, but there were a lot!
After a couple days of being home, I felt so weird. My life for the previous 6 1/2 months was a life of servitude & dedication to God. Even if we weren't out talking to people, I wasn't at home chilling out with my friends. There wasn't a lot of "do nothing" time. I read a lot in my down time & it seemed like Marc & I were always talking about something. It was a different life. When I got home, we spent a lot of time hanging out, doing nothing. I felt like I was wasting time. Like if Jesus were to come at that moment, I wouldn't be able to justify not doing anything. It was just a really weird feeling, and I felt like I should go back, given the chance. It was weird because I had so longed to be home and to see my friends, but when I got back was when I realized that I had changed. I truly, over the months, had grown to see the need for true sanctification. We are called to be holy. Not that there is anything wrong with hanging out and playing games, but I felt like I traded fellowship and gained hanging out, a trade that I hadn't wanted to make.
Over time, the feelings subsided and I realized how much work could be done at home. I shouldn't separate myself, but use my new found realization to try to help others grow as well. I began to enjoy my time much more. Also, seeing my friends' love for me, further grew my love for them. I remembered how much I missed them & how much I loved being home, serving at the church, and ministering alongside these people and all of a sudden, I really didn't want to leave. Then our last young adult study came and ended and with that, many tears. I wanted to stay home, but even more than that, I wanted it to be the Lord's will. I hoped that these feelings were from the Lord that I could stay, so we prayed and prayed. Do we go back? And the Lord was silent except to remind us of the trip and of ministry on the road. We were going back.
There is a peace that comes with being in God's will that when you have to do something you don't want to do, you can still be joyful because you serve a higher purpose. I still don't know why we're out here, whether it's for us to grow or to encourage the people around us. It doesn't seem to be for the people we talk to, although I know that is good so maybe it is the purpose. Either way, whatever the reason, I know I'm spending my time serving a God who has done more for me than I can repay.
One more thing that I learned on the road-I think that it is easier to trust God when we're on the road because we don't really have a choice. We have no job, no fluffy bank account, nothing that we can point to and say, "Why don't we do this" or "I did that". Everything we have comes from God, whether it be money or food or money to buy food. If we need something we can't afford, we know the Lord will give it to us because there is just no way for us to do it. But being home is different....it's comfortable. There is a fridge, someone will always feed me, and I will always have a place to stay. There isn't a lot of trust. Nobody is going to tow my house in the middle of the night. In that, I learned intentionality. We have to be intentional in everything we do with God. Want more trust? Practice trusting Him. Want to grow? Make it a point to read and pray and seek. See where I'm going with this? We have to WANT the things of God and intend to do them, not just get around to it when we can.
So after many fun times and a few tears, we flew back to Boston, packed up, and left to go back to Canandaigua, New York for a pastor's/leadership conference.
Thank you all for your prayers, can't wait to see you again, in God's timing of course. ;)